Musing Regrets
by Meva
Summary: Sam makes a mistake and regrets it and plz read and review


  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author  
  
  
Sam stared at the still form of her once active commanding officer, it was strange to see him this way, as he was usually always ready with a sarcastic remark guaranteed to get Daniel going. Now he lay in the infirmary fighting for his life because she had made a fatal mistake. Daniel and Teal'c had told her endless times that she wasn't to blame but their words could not get the look in the Colonel's eyes as he was cut down by a staff weapon out of her mind. His eyes could never hide anything from her and before she had treasured the fact she could tell what he was thinking or feeling but just looking into his brown eyes but after that moment her feelings had changed. The steady beep of the machines was the only thing that reassured her he was still alive and in some way still with her.  
  
Sam got to her feet and made her way over to the side of Jack's bed before taking his hand in hers and begging," Please Jack you have to come back to us, you have to come back to me! I need to know that you forgive me!"  
  
She placed his hand back down before she gently ran a hand over his now pale face totally unlike the handsome vibrant face she had always known and loved. She pleaded silently for one of his trademark O'Neill smiles that seemed to touch her heart. She brushed back an errant strand of silver hair and a smile appeared on her face as she remembered him asking Daniel if he looked distinguished or just plain old and Daniel being Daniel had told him plain old. She still remembered the way Jack had picked up one of Daniel's artefacts but as Jack called them Rocks and then proceeded to juggle it from hand to hand knowing full well that it was Daniel's favourite Rock. How long had it been since that fateful day, six or seven days at least and Jack still showed no sign of waking up. Why hadn't she listened to him when he said he didn't trust the villagers, she should have known that he was right. She knew that the others didn't blame her, they had said as much but she still blamed herself, she should have known that the leader Frayac was slave to a Goauld and that he would turn on them.  
  
She closed her eyes in the hope of stopping the rush of memories but all she could remember was Jack shouting for them to run and the villagers in pursuit armed with Zat guns and staff weapons. She remembered Daniel sprinting ahead of her to get the gate open and Teal'c laying down cover fire but somewhere along the line she had lost sight of Jack. The emotions that she had felt at that exact moment coursed through her once more, the cold stab of fear and the horrifying realisation that she might lose him. She had stopped for a brief moment looking back for him but then he had appeared out of nowhere and had hoisted her to her feet urging her to run. Sam could feel the tears gathering in her eyes once more as she could clearly remember Jack ordering them through the Stargate and as Daniel and Teal'c disappeared through it he turned to go with her. That's when it happened, the familiar sound of a staff weapon being fired filled the air and caught Jack in the back, he had met her eyes briefly before he collapsed to the ground. Sam stared at her hands vividly remembering the blood, his blood that had covered them and all her self control was gone, the tears coursed down her face and she crumpled to the ground.  
  
Sam was vaguely aware of someone wrapping their arms around her and stroking her hair gently but the familiar voice of Janet Fraiser said gently," You have to rest Sam, Jack would not want you putting yourself through this! No-one blames you Sam and I know that Jack doesn't either!"  
  
Sam shook her head and muttered," It was my fault that we trusted Frayac and I was the one who convinced him that we should go with them, it's my fault he's fighting for his life and nothing you or Daniel and Teal'c can say will convince me otherwise!"  
  
A gruff voice said slowly," How about me?"  
  
Sam quickly got to her feet and stammered," Colonel!"  
  
Jack nodded and then joked weakly," Yeah who were you expecting, the tooth fairy?"  
  
Sam smiled and moved out of the way as Janet began to check on Jack's stats and slowly began to remove various drips and connections to machines before she scolded," I hope not to see you in here for a very long time Colonel!"  
  
Jack smiled and gave her a mock salute before he turned back to Sam and said," You look like crap Major!"  
  
Sam smiled and replied," Well you don't look much better yourself Sir!"  
  
Jack nodded but then his face took on a serious look before he explained," What happened on that planet was not your fault Major, we simply made the mistake of trusting innocent enough looking villagers but I want you to know if I could do it all over again I would still trust your judgement!"  
  
Sam meant his gaze and found deep concern and something else shining in his eyes before she nodded and said," Thank you sir!"  
  
Jack slowly scooted over and patted the space beside him and said," Come on you look like you need some sleep!"  
  
Sam blushed slightly before she slowly clambered onto the bed next to him and being very careful of him she laid down next to him, Jack put his arm around her shoulders and slowly began to stroke her hair. Sam could feel her eyes closing and she was soon in a deep sleep, Jack looked down at her and smiled before he too began to close his eyes.  
  
Janet returned to the Colonel's room but stopped as she saw her two friends and slowly turned round and closed the door behind her before saying," Sleep well!"  
  
THE END 


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